Sometimes I enjoy a bit of a nightly writing, a jism of thoughts, with the same sense of release (jokes!) …its better (jokes again!) but I have found that arguing with a piece of paper means I am guaranteed to win!
Essentially; it’s just ranting ferociously with a pen!
Some people smoke weed, some eat cake, some kick the shit out of punch bags, some drink gin! You have got to do whatever works to get you through these trying times.
I have a book that I explode these wordgasms into, and it has prompts and meditation tips in the margins, needless to say I don’t take them too seriously. I mean contrary to popular belief I am not the ‘Ohm-ing Hare Krishna type’.
Occasionally one of these meditation mantras will catch my eye and today has been tough! If you have read my recent post, you will understand me when I say today has been a ‘cheap rubber dinghy; slow puncture type of day’, anyway, I digress, the prompt in the book says: ‘set a timer for five minutes and sit quietly, alone, in silence and with conscience breath, allow you shoulders to drop, allow your thoughts to flow, and be still, sit and stare and do nothing at all for these five minutes’
Thoughts: whomever wrote this, their speciality is parodying famous celebrity life coaches and they most definitely do not have any crotch goblins!
The only way I get five minutes of solitude is by getting up at 4am or locking myself in the toilet and making impressive straining noises and even then: EVEN THEN: they would push their squidgy faces against the gap in the door, as if talking through that gap improves their chances of me agreeing to their incessant demands for yet another fucking snack!
Come to think of it, I don’t think I have been properly alone for 14 years so getting up at 4am could be my only option? Quickly dismissing that ridiculous (or not) idea because I need my god damn sleep. Fuck it! I’ll put up with the daily demands and their inability to adhere to personal space, because nothing lasts forever …. Not COVID-19, not lock-down, not even a bad day, and one day, far from now, if I am gifted with becoming old and grey, I will bloody miss ALL of this!
To my little time trespassing crotch goblins – my time is yours; I just ask for one thing, please let me shit in peace!
Just That Girl Kelly 