Are we Prudes or Nudes?

rude or prude

Are we prudes or nudes.

Is it OK to be naked in front of your kids?

On GMTV the other morning Marina Fogel and Jessica Cunningham debated about whether it is ok to be naked in front of your kids… I immediately thought this is absurd! Of course, it’s OK!

In case you wondered I am in ‘TEAM NUDE’, like it or loath it, I agree with Marina I think it’s massively important to not make your body into something to be ashamed of, I shower with my bathroom door open, I often have a quick pee with the door unlocked (marginally because I have a fear of being locked in a small confined space), I get changed openly and if they point or ask a question about my voluptuousness – I answer it, openly and honestly…

Everywhere you go there is photo shopped perfection, every cover of every magazine is portraying a fake faultlessness of male and female celebrities with smooth unpimpled figures, slim tanned bodies without scarring or cellulite, strikingly beautiful figurines of fame are rammed down our throats, making the most confident of people feel inferior to such excellence.

Long term; I believe the effects from this will be far more damaging then catching a glimpse of your mums arse crack in shower, and long term this portrayal of unrealistic appearances is detrimental to the younger generations of growing girls and boys out there!

They look at themselves in the mirror and see that they have excess hair, wobbly bellies, wonky unequal boobs and irregular shaped bollocks!! What do they want to do… CHANGE IT! Because its not what they think everybody else looks like. Seeing their mother or father walking around innocently in their home naked is perfectly natural and it shouldn’t be seen in any other way. My daughters and son have commented on my belly being like playdoh, they have asked if I have more babies in my belly, they have asked me why I have a big fat bum!

All comments I reply to them with the REAL LIFE answer…

I BLAME THEM ….. ( I am joking ) All jokes aside, the real life answer to my play dough, big bum and belly is way too much cake and not enough exercise! They know I am OK with this! They also know I can change this with a healthy balanced diet and a Davina McColl DVD.

Whilst I am happy to be nude in front of my kids, please don’t think I am flaunting myself and encouraging them to do the same. That on a Sunday’s we cook and eat roast chicken and stuffing balls; butt naked!!! We don’t – because that’s just weird!

I wholeheartedly believe in educating children when it’s age appropriate about boundaries and when its appropriate and not appropriate to be naked and share all your glory, teaching them about what’s acceptable behavior and what isn’t. We teach our children to cross the road safely when they are old enough to understand the dangers of the road, it is only right we teach them about sexual abuse when they are old enough to understand the dangers of the WORLD.

Going to Barry’s after school and sucking up your spag bol naked at the table – NOT ACCEPTABLE!

Being invited to play at Mary’s house and playing naked Twister with her mum and dad – NOT ACCEPTABLE!

Being touched inappropriately without being asked – NOT ACCEPTABLE!

Taking a shower at home and not closing the door, walking from the shower to the cupboard on the landing to get your towel in your birthday suit!! That’s 100% OK with me and with-in the boundaries I have set within my family unit.

Whether you are TEAM NUDE or TEAM COVERUP, its more than nudity it’s about APPROPRIATE EDUCATION!

Ever heard of PANTS …. might be worth checking it out!

gmtv fogel v cunningham


Mumpreneurs ARE ON fire – My review of Mumpreneur on fire : Book 2

mumpreneur on fire two

If you follow my blogs you have probably read one I wrote about two inspiring women, Leona and Estelle the co-founders of MIBA (Mums in Business Association), collectively they have indeed created a movement with ‘The Mums in Business Association’, this is a bitch free, no bullshit, supportive and empowering empire of almost 20,000 women.

I was lucky enough to get my hands on Mumpreneur on Fire: 2, prior to launch to review for Leona and Estelle. Their vision, which created this community gave 20 inspirational mums in business a platform to share their stories becoming co-authors in this book, inspiring and empowering other mums who are wanting more out of their lives, mums who want career and babies, mums who know they are destined for successful and happy lives.

Leona and Estelle are both pretty inspirational all by themselves but put this army of women behind them and together they are the epitome of INSPIRATION.  This book touched my heart and some of the stories told by some of the MIBA women will take your breath away. These are normal every day women that have shared intimate snippets of their lives, shared some of the hardships they have endured but have shown that with the right mindset, with counselling, or just with sheer determination and grit you are still deserved and capable of great things.

This book can show other mumpreneurs around the world that if you have drive and ambition it doesn’t matter from what seed you have grown or where you started, it doesn’t matter if you lived on a council estate and lived on spam fritters or lived on a tree lined street and had fillet steak every Friday!  This book is not about status or class, its not about having one child or five, it’s about being grateful for life, its about understanding that even the most privileged of backgrounds still have their demons and obstacles to overcome.

What this book shows you, is that ‘only YOU’ have the ability to change YOUR life!

That YOU and ‘only YOU’ are responsible for YOUR own happiness!

It tells stories of sadness and bravery, courage and survival but everyone of these women have not used their past as an excuse as to why they can’t achieve great things, they use it as their reason to deserve better and get better.

I read this book from cover to cover in three evenings, there is something quite addictive about reading real life stories of success. These mums rock and none are more deserved of the opportunity to shine then the 20 women in this book.

So in brief … Depression, PTSD, PND, anxiety, eating disorders, grief, deceit, domestic violence, sexual abuse, rape, addictions, divorce, miscarriage, suicide, self-harm, bullying, heartbreak, various syndromes and illnesses do not and will not define these women.

It’s part of their journey, they are certainly not statistics and no-one is having a ‘pity-party’ in this book.

past and future quote

What you will find is ‘MUMPRENUERS’ from successful MLM business owners, Networkers, Authors, Jewelers, Founders of amazing charities born from real life raw experiences, Handmade Cosmetics, Unique Dress Makers, Accountants and Virtual PA’s, Nutritionists and Transformation Coaches, CBT, NLP and Mindset coaches, Spiritualists and Crystal Dealers, Artists and Unique Crafty Gifts…  

Pre-Order your copy here

Heather Rose, Laura Y, Lori, EmmaJayne, Cherish, Iona, Alia, Kim, Laura D, Natasha, Nicola, Kelly, Sophie, Helen, Faye, Jennifer, Tamar, Tamara, Leanne, and Lisa….

 Y O U  A R E   A L L  

A S S   

K I C K I N G  

F A N F L I P P I N G T A S T I C    

mumpreneur on fire




We are all a type of stereotype!

I am not keen on stereotypes, I don’t like pigeon holing people, but I am not so up my own arse that I can’t see the funny side of these comparisons. I do chuckle at the ‘tongue and cheek’ way that some of these generalisations are made.

I have read quite a few articles describing the sort of mums you are likely to come across at the school gates, well it triggered me to write this piece… so enjoy! But read to the end… there’s a bigger point to make!

THE SPORTY MUM – she’s the mum that runs three miles to school with her children in an all-terrain three wheeled buggy complete with a buggy board, two little children under the age of four enjoying the speedy jog as their svelte and trim mother completes the final uphill jog to school without even breaking a sweat!

Putting us all to shame, she can still hold a full-on conversation with you about her vegan scrambled ‘eggs’ made with AQUAFABA (yes I had to google it too) without panting out of her arse. She’s always in lycra, she is a firm size 8 and has an ass to bloody die for. She has that ass that you sneakily and enviously watch bouncing back down the hill after the drop off which leaves you contemplating for a nanosecond if it makes you a lesbian because you desperately want to touch it!

THE CHAV MUM – The young, brash and slightly loutish mum in the pink crushed velvet diamante studded tracksuit, earrings that Pat Butcher would half inch given the opportunity. When she bends over to pick up the toddler that goes by the name of Britney, you get a sneak peak of the tramp stamp tattooed along the base of her back neatly scripted with ‘Steve’, she talks with a pretend Essex twang, every word with ‘A’ sound in, is vocally extended like ‘baaaaaaaabe’

THE PTA MUM – This mum is the eternally positive twin set wearing avid promoter, attempting to bring parents closer to improve educational facilities by raising funds for what seems like ‘CONSTANTLY’… literally constantly. She is the mum that’s always waving raffle tickets in your face and begging you for home made cakes. The intention and resilience are commended. They have bribery skills that leave ISIS looking meek. Using your children’s education as a way to entice and persuade you into the school hall to give up the only free time you have got for the next four weeks to help out on the f**king tombola!

THE CBA (can’t be arsed) MUMTotally opposite to ‘PTA’ mum. She is the one that rocks up in her pyjamas and dressing gown with a messy but stylish ‘mum bun’. She arrives as the school bell rings not a minute before or after, talking to Jimmy Junior about remembering his school jumper whilst puffing on a Lambert and Butler, stamps out the half-smoked ciggy with her unicorn slippers, dropping off her five kids at the office because she’s too lazy (and late) to drop them at the corresponding classes.

THE PERSONALISED PLATE 4WD MUM – She’s a little bit up her own arse, wears designer sunglasses all year around, models her designer handbag as she struts through the gates like she’s auditioning for ‘Britain’s Top Model’, draped in faux fur and always; always, in 4-inch heels! She ONLY speaks to other ‘personalised plate’ mums with the same appreciation for self-branding. She stands proud, stands tall and doesn’t make eye contact with anyone other than ‘personalised plate’ mum and her children that would have names similar to Clementine or Rupert. She double kisses them on the cheek and royally waves churah!. Casually sauntering back to the double parked 4WD whilst checking how many ‘likes’ were received on this morning’s Facebook selfie!!

THE 9-5 MUM – Now this mum is illusive, she is rarely seen, some think she’s nocturnal like a badger, she arrives at school before sun rise dropping her child at the ‘before school club’, she collects at the cusp of darkness from the ‘after school club’. She often appears on the School Facebook page as the serial ‘LIKER’ liking all the comments on the news feed. She’s the list writing mum, the briefcase mum, the power dresser, the mum that despite having a hugely busy and demanding diary, still manages to keep up with all the homework, non-uniform days, ‘dress up like a pirate’ days and school trips. She is organized to military precision, moves quickly and doesn’t have time for small talk. Don’t underestimate this mum.


I am unashamedly a fair old mix of all of the above….

I do have a girl crush on anyone that has that SQUAT ass. I would have appeared on the Jeremy Kyle episode of:


I don’t have the tramp stamp on my lower back but my dad is called Steve and I have 12 tattoos.

I help when I can at the school, sprinkling glitter, making cakes and painting faces on the sticky cherubs of our school in an attempt to make myself feel like a ‘better person’.

I am not rich enough for a personalised plate on my pretend 4WD which looks and drives more like a Ford Galaxy, so I have mug with my name on…. I go by the name of  ‘THE QUEEN OF F**KING EVERYTHING’ in my house.

I am self-proclaimed novice at the duck pout, but never the less I do often partake in selfies and snapchat filters and I can confirm I look better as a rabbit!

I don’t work a 9-5, but I do work, I work my ass off, and when I can actually be bothered I totally rock the power house dressing, minus the heels! I’m like a drunk pig when I am wearing heels and most Mondays I wake up with that ‘Can’t be arsed’ feeling, after arguing with all of the children about itchy knickers, soggy cereal and un-brushed teeth.

I’m frequently caught out by time because I have had to quickly do reading and spellings before school because I forgot on Sunday, which has then led to me having to walk to school with my tits uncradled and totally commando because I haven’t had enough time for a shower let alone dress properly.

I don’t vape and I don’t smoke but I have been known to demolish a packet of chocolate hobnobs and neck a quick shot of home distilled blackberry vodka for my breakfast.

Stereotypes are a quick judgement made in jest, so I say laugh hard, but don’t laugh so hard that you forget to laugh at yourself, because we are all a little bit stereotypical sometimes!


Recipe of a happy life

Do you feel lost? Have you lost perspective?

This is my guide, I’ve wrote 10 elements I believe should be applied to everyone’s lives to allow clarity and direction.

1. TRAVEL THE WORLD We are all blessed to live on earth. It’s enormous and we are a dot in this huge world. See as much of it as you possibly can. Climb mountains, walk in the oceans, and eat weird shit, meet new people and soak up cultures. Don’t stay stagnant!

2. TREAT YOURSELF Every month, buy an item of clothing or a book! Buy that luxury bar of chocolate and gift it yourself, whatever it is make sure you know you that you bought it for you because your worth it and you deserve it. All too often we forget to allow ourselves treats.

3. REVIEW YOUR TRAJECTORY Close your eyes and where do you see yourself in 10 years. Properly submerge your mind and think hard about the path you are following and where will that take you in 10 years if you keep walking it. The great things about paths is they can change their course of direction so if you don’t like the path your following you can change it. Our lives are passing through time so quickly, constantly colliding and the dynamics continue to change. “Change,” isn’t a bad thing when we learn to accept it and embrace it, change can make the rest of our lives better. Review your trajectory with an open mind.

4. DO FUN SHIT! Do fun things, run, jump, hop skip and jump in puddles. Don’t become so uptight that you loose the inner child and become so self aware that you forget to have fun. Fun is a critical component to this recipe.

5. HAVE ALONE TIME Time of solace is so important. Being alone allows time to reflect and reflection is necessary. Time spent with the ocean is in my opinion one of the most powerfully refreshing and aligning exercises ever. To be stood at the oceans edge and look out to sea. Respect it’s power, understand it’s mass, it gives you perspective. Breath in and out deeply, and listen to the ocean it will clear your senses and refresh your mind.

6. SELF LOVE Every day when you look at your reflection. Don’t apply hate to your curves, take that moment to love them. You are you, and you are your own sort of perfect and that includes the freckles, curves and untamed hair. If you can’t look at yourself and ‘like’ what you see, how can you expect others to like you and how will you live a life that’s truly content and happy when your self hating the one thing that encapsulates everything that makes your life possible!

7. BE HEALTHY This is simple but it’s not easy. This takes planning and often willpower. If you eat shit you’ll feel shit! Eat well, feel great. Fast food, wine and take aways are indeed delicious but feed your busy body the fruits and vegetable of the earth, liken this activity to fuelling your car, you wouldn’t put petrol in a diesel car! Why, because it won’t work properly and it’s the same reasons why being healthy will on benefit your life and body.

8. FIND AND SURROUND YOURSELF WITH LIKEMINDED PEOPLE. Surrounding yourself with people that uplift you and inspire you. Likeminded people create positivity and optimism. Don’t allow the ‘drains’ that suck you in to a spiral of pessimism and negativity be prominent in your lives.

9. DON’T PROCRASTINATE Procrastination is the biggest time waster, and when you begin to look at your life like an hourglass and the sand is representing of your lifespan, you’ll stop procrastinating!

10. LAUGH EVERYDAY laughing releases endorphins that are good for your soul, to live a life without laughter you may as well of never lived at all. Find things that make you happy, do them and laugh out loud. Laugh at yourself, laugh with your friends, laugh so hard that tears of laughter fall down your legs. Don’t be so serious about everything in life that you become a boring old fart!

I hope you took something from this, apply this and live the life you deserve.


Four kids, a toddler and a not so smug mum!

I fancied being super mum and wearing that smug glow for an evening to see what it felt like, so I took my four kids and one of their friends to the trampolining park after school.

A quick trip to the drive through, I filled the kids up with burgers and chips, already the super mum glow is dimming a little when I probably should of slow cooked a bolognaise with five hidden veg to serve instantly from their return from school! I opted for ease over health! Not so super mum.

On route to the trampoline park I panicked a little as thoughts of the children throwing up what they’d just chucked down their gullets ran through my mind. Puking on a trampoline ‘IS AS’ bad as kids shitting in a swimming pool!!!

Emetophobia 1 – Kelly 0

All was going well as I bribed the children with more junk – Slush Puppies for all of them if they made it through the jump session without being reprimanded by the jump police!! It seemed to be enough to keep them in check but the super mum glow is more of a slight glimmer now as I’ve promised the already hyperactive and adrenaline fuelled kids…. E-NUMBERS ON ICE!! (Holds head in hands) What was I thinking!!


The toddler (that’s what I call her when she’s being a DIVA!) threw sugar everywhere, refused to play, demanded her dummy, lined up dominoes and kicked them all over! She’s two, frustrated and a Taurus!! I’m screwed from this day onwards!

I’ve managed to stifle ‘THE TODDLER’ with a dummy and a back tickle to be greeted by my eldest daughter whom turned to show me her ass, she looked like she was wearing chaps for kids, modelling the largest hole in her leggings. I tied her hoodie around her waist and I convinced her to carry on for the last half and hour.

‘THE TODDLER’ needed a crap as she starts chanting “poo poo poo poo poo” and running towards the toilets holding her ass cheeks together, on the way out from a near miss of ‘explosive turtling’ I was met by a panicked son I instantly thought PUKE!!! F***! One of them has PUKED!

“Mum, it’s Isla she’s fallen and she’s crying and the first aid team are with her”

We all run in…

She’s being carried to the first aid room. My hearts beating faster and I just want to give her a mummy hug. The super mum glow has f***ing vanished!

The first aid lady carried her past me and Islas face had that awkward look of …. how do I say this without sounding like a #shitmum  ……. err … well basically she was ‘LYING’. She laid in the first aiders arms looking forlorn and soaking up the sympathy, screaming out ooo’s and aaa’s when the right ankle was touched…. honestly it was pantomime! How the first aid lady did not see through this act of amateur dramatics I do not know??

She filled out a form, insisted I got it checked out at the hospital and they would call me the next day to get an update for their records!

Now; do I go with my gut instinct or my ‘just in case’ motherly ones??

My ‘Smug Glow’ had been well and truly blown out, so my son and his friend took this moment of weakness to get confirmation from the first aid lady that their behaviour  was impeccable and that THEY still deserved the promised ‘Slush Puppy’!

Anyway the end of a very long and stressful day, a confirmed NON BROKEN ANKLE and the story of Aesop Fables ‘Little Boy That Cried Wolf’ being told to the little girl that tells a lot of porky pies!

I hope it sunk in.

boy who cried wolf






Let’s talk about the ‘Smear Fear’ …

Who has got ‘Smear Fear’ – own up! Back in 2008 Jade Goody, very publicly lived out her diagnosis and treatment through the eyes of reality television, sadly losing her battle to cervical cancer on Mother’s Day 2009 leaving behind her two boys Bobby and Freddy. We saw ‘RAW’ and ‘REAL’ awareness, and women flocked to surgeries far and wide to drop their knickers and have their growlers poked.

SMEAR FEAR has gone viral, test rates have plummeted to a 20 year low having fallen to 72%.

What has happened? Have we let our dignity dictate our health??

Mothers of daughters, sisters, aunts, nans far and wide should start today to teach the generations after us that dignity won’t save your life, lets lead by example and not become statistics printed in a health magazines or percentages in the press.

Why do we have this ‘ostrich attitude’ about our lady gardens? It is a couple of minutes of laying yourself bare, not even totally bare. Waist down bare, although scantily covered with a starchy blanket obscuring your Muff, Vagazzle or Hollywood.

Remember your ‘toothless gibbon’ is not the first and most certainly won’t be the last that the gynae nurse will see, poke and prod about in her lifetime. The nurse chose her vocation, and that was to help people, make people better, encourage, support and care for people, ultimately resulting in her placing speculums into vaginas far and wide (no pun intended). Small vaginas, big vaginas, glittered or pierced vaginas, she has undoubtedly seen all sorts. Just like we all have different faces and we readily accept everyone as individual and unique, well ‘NEWSFLASH’ we all have different fanny’s too! Every one, individual and unique. This smear test is a simple quick procedure completed in less then 5 minutes. 5 minutes that could change and alter the path of your life indefinitely.   

The cervical screening test is NOT a test to find CANCER. It is a screening test to help identify and detect changes to the cells around the cervix often described as abnormalities or precancerous cells. It is important to remember that 90% of all screening results will come back as normal, and it’s also wise to remember that if you do have abnormal cells, this does NOT always mean cancer. The crucial part is being screened so that the best protection or treatment can be offered for the best protection against developing cervical cancer.

So, share this with your girlfriends, get some girl power solidarity going and get those beavers down the surgery. Just, like you’d hold back your friends hair whilst she’s throwing up after a night of Jager bombs, hold her hand whilst her ‘clunge meets the clamp’, then you can swap and return the favour when it’s your turn … swiftly heading to the pub for a celebratory Chardonnay afterwards. Chink chink!

It really is that simple. I am a huge advocate and would not be writing something I am not passionate about. I make my appointment as soon as the reminder letter comes through the post, it’s a habit not a chore.  I am a mother, I have three daughters and I don’t want them to grow up in a world where its taboo to talk about your flange, or even worse they get the SMEAR FEAR!

I’ll leave you with this thought …

 Its better to be dead embarrassed for five minutes – Than just… DEAD! 

Tag a friend with  #smearfear and get those appointments booked!


A Mams not HOT! Keep it FRESH! 44 degrees….


‘How to keep your relationship fresh- AFTER KIDS!

Remember that hot sweaty sexual spontaneity, those cheeky gins on the way home from work that resulted in you pulling each other’s clothes off and christening every room in the house whilst experimenting with chocolate.

Remember always having the energy and being able to perform sexual gymnastics – OK! Me neither on this one!

But THEN…. babies happen. These beautiful screaming, puking, shitting little bundles of love, that dictate your ‘day to day’ routine right down to writing a 15-minute window of ‘sexy time’ on the calendar to squeeze in, in-between babies final feed and the news at 10pm. You have never felt tiredness like it, your totally exhausted and your make up hasn’t seen your face in over four months! You’re still getting used to your new body, the one that uncontrollably wets itself and wobbles when walking up the stairs, and well… the hair growth is honestly quite remarkable!!

Being sexually adventurous is far from your main priority because ever since ‘the baby’ came screaming out of your vagina, it’s kind of lost its sexual prowess! It’s more ‘toothless gibbon’ then ‘girl on fire’! Your boobs are now a source of life and not foreplay, and your belly resembles play dough! Oh yes!… and you almost forgot that whilst keeping this new little human alive your still expected to perform like the highly sexed ‘try-sexual’ Samantha Jones from Sex in The City.

Reality is, the only rabbit getting any action in the house is Bing Bunny and the dulcet tones of Lionel Richie echoing ‘Hello’ have since been replaced with Mr.Tumble singing and signing in Makaton  ‘Hello hello, how are youuuuu?’.  Meanwhile the other half is looking lovingly and longingly at your milk filled breasts and assuring you that you will still ‘feel’ the same… and promises that it’s not going to be like throwing a sausage up Oxford Street!

So how do you keep your libido doing the ‘La Vida Loca?’

Wine – plenty of wine! … OK – now here is the real answer!

The most important thing to remember, is that ‘THING’ that sparked your love for each other in the first place, whether that was the twatish chat up lines, the same interests, the same love of music, dry humour and wit, or the fact he can make a banging chilli con carne! Always keep that in your mind’s eye… because when you get to stalemate and your feeling like the ‘give and take’, is more ‘all give, and no take’ you will need to remember that ‘THING!’

Date nights, now whether your fortunate enough to have a childminder shouldn’t determine your date night, plan a nice meal for when the kids are in bed, he peels spuds while you fry steak, drink wine, light candles, eat food and talk… this is quality time.

Share a shower, however the reality and expectation of this can often be a little different from the passionate movie scenes but stick with it, even if it’s just for the humour aspect! Let’s face it, giving a blowjob in the shower is like trying to waterboard yourself!


When your kids come along, naturally, they are the main priority and that is exactly how it should be, but don’t let this become the ‘excuse’ to forget to be ‘tactile’ with each other. Don’t forget to hold hands when walking around the street! Don’t forget to kiss each other goodbye, and greet each other with a hug….and don’t forget to tell the other person you love them. Because this is the important stuff, this is the stuff that makes you more than just roomies, if you don’t even hold hands, have a cuddle or a kiss, you’re so very near to the ‘friend zone’! You don’t want to be in that!

So if he chucks an X-Box controller at you as opposed to the baby oil….. you’ve been ‘friended’!! He’ll be hi-fiving you and calling you mate whilst sharing a Kentucky bucket before long!!!

Get tactile people, take time to remember all the good shit before the mini humans came along…. Sex shouldn’t be assumed and romance shouldn’t be forced and shouldn’t be scheduled, romance is what’s born out of mutual respect, quality time and common interests.

….. and before long you’ll spelling out desired moves from the ‘Karma Sutra’ with the kids Alphablock toys like its new form of foreplay and snatching a few stolen minutes humping along to the intro of Chuggington.

And for those men reading this today, ‘Tactile’ means get familiar via the sense of touch, this doesn’t mean ramming your partner up the arse so she head-butts the worktop and dry humping her whilst she’s trying to load the dishwasher!!

Share with the nation far a wide to help prevent women all over the world getting concussion and being dry humped within an inch of their lives!












Magic and lies

“I know your Santa mum”….. my son said to me after school. He’s 9! I think he’s known a while but was too scared to let on in case it all just STOPPED. The plentiful sack of gifts and general ‘spoiling’ that happens as part of the world’s best kept secret.

My eldest daughter had the magic broken last year and I felt like ~ #shitmum! She even said … ‘why did you lie to me mum?’

I look into her trusting eyes and felt I needed to repair a lifetime of lies… so I told her the truth and explained that whilst I knew I was lying I didn’t lie to cause you hurt or pain, I lied because I wanted to make magical childhood memories for you, because when I was a little girl, some of my fondest childhood memories involved the magic (lies) of Christmas and the stories behind the big fat man, dressed in red with a white fluffy beard. Waking up to a pillowcase full of toys at the foot of the bed, eating shitloads of sweets from breakfast through to dinner, and the obligatory satsuma and apple in the stocking (to juggle with) ….. she looked confused at that point as I haven’t duplicated that bit!

One of our family rules are … ‘Don’t lie’ … it’s not just a rule it’s a ‘commandment’ and yet I feel like I am sat in my hypocritical tower as I have pretty much lied to them all their lives…

Put your tooth under your pillow the tooth fairy will leave you money! Omitting the small fact that I AM that fairy, the elephairy without a tutu, not small enough to fit in a thimble, I don’t fart glitter and I am not friends with Peter Pan.

Don’t pick dandelions, you will wet the bed! WHO ever started that??? I literally didn’t pick dandelions for YEARS because I was terrified that this would happen, and then one day I picked one! Guess what! I pissed the bed… I think I subconsciously I told myself that this was going to happen. Never forget the mind is a powerful tool.

Eat crusts you’ll get curly hair! I must of ate shitloads of crusts!!

Eat carrots they will help you see in the dark! I ate carrots and I am still blind as a bat.

Don’t lie otherwise you get purple spots on your tongue! Toby STILL sticks his tongue out when he is defending his honour, pointing towards his tongue in a frantic ‘believe me’ fashion, saying ‘see I am NOT lying’ which is quite hard to say with your tongue in the way!

Now, I love magic, and all things majestical, anything that can capture your mind and take you away from reality is wonderfully captivating, things that can envelope the imagination and take you away on a journey. It’s just magical.

I think Harry Potter and all the many wizards would agree that Hogwarts was the seed that grew into a phenomenon with the help of JK Rowlings imagination and need for all things magic.

When you’re a child that window to create magic and fairytales is a mere snippet, at age 1, 2, and 3 you don’t have clue and prefer chocolate and cardboard boxes then toys and at 8,9,10 and beyond, sadly parents are replaced by their friends and the virtual online world, snapchat filters of dogs and social media become more enchanting then the magical one.

So, if you struggle with the biggest lie of all time and ask yourself if it’s acceptable to lie to a child when it means you’re giving them a childhood full of memories, or whether it’s our way to reason out the hypocrisy of it all.

I say take that five-year window and create magical memories and family traditions that will be remembered and duplicated forever.

Teach them that believing in anything, no matter what it is, makes anything possible.

.… now when we do the snack for Santa and he gets a big fancy GIN and elderflower tonic with a Freddo Frog, I will look at my eldest two children and offer them a cheeky wink and smile knowing they are now in on THE SECRET too.

I was feeling content and happy with how I had handled the Santa scenario and then Isla started asking me questions about the bloody elf on the shelf on the way to school….

Mummy, Ellie has an elf that is woken by magic every night and he gets up to cheeky stuff while she’s asleep. Will he visit our house??

……..Errrrrr doubt it…. I have four elves called Lilly-Ella, Toby, Isla and Esme that get up to enough cheeky stuff thanks….!!



Two Mums put the community back in business with MIBA!

In a world where we seem to lack the community spirit within our communes it’s refreshing and welcoming to find Estelle and Leona building a community of their own bringing together the female entrepreneurs from around the world. That familiar feeling of fellowship with others, as a result of sharing common attitudes, interests, and goals is what you get from MIBA.

These two women are sisters, they are mothers in business, and they collectively realised that there seemed to be a lack of support online for mums juggling business and babies. ‘Mums in Business’ echoes to mums globally that you no longer need to choose between motherhood and a career. You can have both!!!

They have built a community of over 17k women. These two sisters took Instagram by the nuts and Facebook by the fanny and laid a firm foundation for ambitious women in business to connect and grow, to build each other up, and to show more support than the underwire in their bra’s, and that place is now called MIBA – otherwise known as ‘Mums in Business Association’.

Estelle and Leona found a niche, understanding that trends have evolved and social media is a craze that is not disappearing any time soon. Mumtrepreneurs from around the world are utilising this platform and it is providing the leverage and flexibility to become a ‘Mum in Business’. MIBA has become an online village, an online community, and what does a community represent? Well; they were celebrated, they were the crux of villages and communes, the cohesion of people coming together for the greater good. People helped provide food for families so they joined to hunt or farm, bake and cook. They were built by people who felt they were part of something bigger than themselves AND that my friends is exactly what has happened with MIBA. (With less hunting, farming and cooking and more brainstorming, goal setting and planning)

Members have weekly video trainings to watch on topics such as time management, finding your niche and taking control of your social media. Guest speakers have included Rosemary Conley (author of a best selling book with over 2 million copies), Olympic medalist Ludi Wiggins, Actress Holly Matthews, and most recently the Ninja Networker Frazer Brooks here the community of over 17k women share tips and ideas and are not afraid of voicing out, for within MIBA there are no wrong answers, there are just ‘answers’ shared from other inspiring women.

MIBA continue to offer affordable trainings, VIP memberships and intensive coaching, their message is strong and clear and that is….

“No matter what part of your journey you are at, it’s important that you realise that ANYTHING is possible”

It’s been a whirlwind six months for Estelle and Leona and 2018 is going to see MIBA soar to epic proportions, whilst the emphasis behind this community of women is ‘business’, The ‘Mums In Business Association’ have shared their long term goals for this movement is to hold networking events in 50 cities, to inspire the masses, have a retreat somewhere HOT, host a talk show and have a #1 Best Seller.

However, one of those has come off the visionboard already, as their ‘Mumpreneur On Fire’ book has made its way to #1 best seller in the kindle books section of hottest new releases. How fricking amazeballs is that!!! The book is a 250-page powerful read of 20 inspirational MIB’s telling their stories of how drug abuse, domestic violence, bereavement and heartache did not hold these amazing ladies back…

Its true what they say… behind every successful woman is tribe of other successful women who have her back.

Six months ago an idea that came about from two sisters has created a community, a movement, a phenomenon where women support each other and incredible things have HAPPENED!

Be part of MIBA by clicking here..

Download your digital version of ‘Mumpreneur On Fire’ from amazon here

Or get hard version from here (no pun intended)


What a difference year makes…

To My Little Soldier; Elliot,

It’s that time of year for me to write my annual birthday letter to you and ‘my oh my’ what a mixture of emotions this last year has been. Since I wrote to you last it has been full of anger, sadness and sorrow, to acceptance, happiness and emptiness. This year has been full of life changing decisions weighted with constant thoughts of you. Grief is the price that I pay for loving you, so I guess I’ll grieve in some way; forever.

Our decision to move from our home of thirteen years wasn’t an easy one. It was your home from conception and for the whole nine months that I carried you. The vacant fifth bedroom would have probably haunted me forever, it still stood empty and contained an eeriness about it that echoed sadness between those four walls. It was always going to be your room and it was never going to be anything else as long as we occupied that house. I would walk past and touch the closed door with my finger tips and the imagery memory bank would begin to flicker. I couldn’t ever imagine it being the spare room or the study… it was, and always would have been labelled with your name… ‘Elliot’s Room’.

That house we called home could have told a story of such enjoyment and jubilation and equally such pain and torment, the walls grew as our family did, the cement that adhered the bricks together metaphorically held together our family. ALL of The Harris Family. Mum, Dad, four children and three angels. They say a house is just bricks and mortar, well those bricks built the walls that echoed contagious children’s laughter, and the mortar represented the anguish and heartbreak.  I never ever thought I would leave Suncote Avenue, I thought I would be an old lady walking past the same empty room, touching the closed door and feeling pained by grief. I suppose staying there, staying rooted in my safe haven was my own way of being close to you, since I have always struggled to visit your resting places. Three little gravestones all in a row, all ending with the Harris name. I simply cannot bare it.

So why the move you ask??

Well, my little soldier, it’s your eldest sister’s final year of primary school and what would have been the beginning of your own school journey so our relocation to the Cornish coast needed to be now. Leaving number 59 was gut wrenching, but it was the right time. I will never forget how I felt the day I drove off the drive way for the final time. It didn’t feel dissimilar to when I left the hospital without you. Our new home still has five bedrooms and your memory is forever present in pictures and plaques but the house is NEW, a blank cavass awaiting the sequels to ‘The Harris Story’. You would have absolutely loved living here, I just know it!

We have also celebrated the arrival of a new baby. My nephew, your cousin and I have learnt something new about grief since his birth, and that is the surprising unpredictability of it, I didn’t expect after five years to feel pained by the arrival of a precious little boy. I couldn’t understand why silent tears ran down my face when the ‘He’s here’ announcement came pinging through my phone.  I struggled to understand my emotions and battled with myself, I hated myself for feeling this way. It’s been five years since you were taken and people will probably read this and say you should be over it, just get over it and move on. I was not prepared to feel so sad, I literally wanted to disconnect myself from the connection, which is awful in itself! I was experiencing jealousy, and I hate that green-eyed monster when I see it displayed in other people and I detest seeing it in myself even more. It’s an ugly trait and not one I like nor generally possess. What’s even worse is this jealousy I was experiencing was towards your kind and caring Auntie, my sister, who has stood by me through everything. She’s kind-hearted and compassionate and I felt wrecked with guilt for feeling like this, why was I jealous? What was I jealous of? I have your brother and three sisters to keep me very busy, my heart is full and my life is happy! However after some distance and time to reflect to try and understand my emotions; I understood. Your little baby boy cousin was the first baby boy born into our immediate family since your passing, and whilst I can generally disconnect myself because I don’t have to be part of the celebration. This time was different. He’s MY blood relative. He’s just not MY son. The celebratory messages were not condolence messages, and I was jealous. I just needed a little time to adjust and renavigate my internal compass, realign my thoughts. At one point I got sooo angry that people didn’t understand that, but I have to remember to be kind to them, because they won’t miss you like I do, so I took comfort from red wine and music …

I reflected and once I accepted why I was feeling the way I was, I was back to my old self, the mum you know and love but the mum that couldn’t save you. I was back to being the sister I wanted to be and always was. I was never not overjoyed about his arrival it was just cushioned with tinge of sadness that has now been overcome.

Just so you know little man, everything is fine, everything is OK. Your auntie and I are much stronger than a few unexpected feelings that have crept out of Pandora’s Box, and don’t think I am not happy for her, I am delighted for her, she has a son. A healthy little boy and that is a gift! I have adjusted the sails to weather the storm and came out the other side, prepared for any other unexpected storms.

I hope you’re watching over us tonight when we mark your birthday and decorate our Christmas Tree. Remember; when I close my eyes to meet me in my thoughts, in our space of non-existent time as I place your special star on our tree. I wonder if one day, I can get a huge array of people around the world putting up their trees on the 6th December … now that’s a real comforting thought isn’t it?

I love you forever and always. As long as I am living, your Mum I will be.

Happy Birthday Soldier.

Mummy xxx

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