Whether it’s a drunk night out with friends or reminiscing with family I bet at some point in your life you have been asked the question, ‘So what advice would you give to your younger self?’, and after watching Joe Wicks The Body Coach insta-story today about a letter he wrote to his 25 year old self on a podcast with Holly Tucker and it got me thinking… what would I say to my former self?
‘One day you will be older, which means less collagen and more wrinkles. It means more fat as your speedy metabolism slows down with age; well, that will be the excuse you will use when you bin the tailoring for all things lycra. The truth of the matter is you eventually learnt to drive and chose driving over walking 200 meters and ate way too many carbs, despite the dietary choices you will be much wiser and give far less f**ks about most things in general and that in itself is entirely liberating. You will look back at old photos of your younger self and wonder why the hell you had so much self-loathing but you will continually struggle with your hair! Hair will defeat you so embrace it early on, and don’t ever allow the way you look to become the battering ram for other people to bash you with. If they do, remember this says more about them than you! Very briefly, and because I am a grown up (sometimes) and have very little time to waste on people that mean so little to me that I wouldn’t even flush them! To all you weedy little limp dicked bully bastards at my secondary school that called me ‘gorilla girl’ and made my school life a misery, I hope the fleas of a thousand camels crawled in to your arse and your arms were too short to scratch it. I hope at some point in your life someone called you out on being an arsehole and that in turn made you into a better person.
Life will be an emotional ride, you’ll experience pain and heartache and all the name calling and bullying will seem like nothing in comparison but you will come out of it the other side, stronger albeit a little bit broken, just like a shattered vase that’s been glued back together, it still fulfills its purpose in life but it’s never quite the same. But just know, you’ll be alright as long as you keep talking. Talking is life’s free medicine, choose your ears wisely!
Don’t chase love, lust, friendships or companionship. Those things ARE important but should be organically grown from a place of confidence and knowing your worth. When you understand your worth you become like ‘bees to honey’. People will be drawn to you for ALL the right reasons. Not because you’ve paid them in kind, kindness, fags or snow. Don’t get me wrong being confident and knowing your worth is not AAA; Armour Against Arseholes! You’ll still meet, snog and sleep with a few of them along the way, but trust me if you build that stability from the bottom up, build yourself, layer by layer from the feet up into a confident, strong and uniquely independent woman, in time you’ll be able to spot the arseholes a mile off.
When your young you’re in a race with yourself to get to 16, 18, 21 as quickly as possible, so much so you prematurely loose your innocence. Be young, dream big and be a child with ambitious dreams, be a kid that won’t pick dandelions in case you wet the bed a few years longer. When your older you’ll be clawing back those years you wished away. You can’t race time, time is not promised it’s a gift that comes with an expiry date and none of us know how long we have been gifted.
Spend more time with your family. That time is precious time, you won’t think that at 11,12,13 or even 16 years old but remember I am you, a few years later with my own children, grasping on by my fingertips to the last stages of childhood and wishing they could see what I see, and know what I know now. Family time is where the memories are made, kept and treasured and where you will always be unconditionally accepted as YOU without even trying!
Laugh hard at all the shit, take no shit, don’t talk shit. Don’t be a twat, don’t sleep with twats. Hold on to your V-Plates like you will ‘hold on’ to the words of ‘THAT’ Wilson Philips song, hold on to your virginity like you hold onto the hope that ‘Oasis’ may reform and that ‘Heather Shimmer’ comes back into fashion and always remember to count to 10 it will save you…being punched in the face!’
See you in future. Wiser, fatter, and giving less fucks!