We have all got good and bad points, strengths and weaknesses, YEP t’is a fact! It takes ages to figure it all out, which makes you wonder why you have to make so many important choices at school, when you’re a don’t give a fuck teen. So many questions and roads to go down, back alleys to play hide and puke in. Would you be a teen again? Honestly? Truthfully? Can you say you had it all figured out when you were 14, 15, 16… to be honest I don’t think I have it all figured out now but what I do have, that I didn’t have then is a sense of self-worth, dreams that are not made with mushrooms or some dodgy tablet from Acid Alan, I also have my own opinion which I am confident to speak. You don’t have to agree with me, and that’s OK, I am OK with that, but it wasn’t always that way. There was a time, I wore clothes similar to my friends even if it made me look like a bag of dicks, I bought perfume to blend in and ‘Heather Shimmered’ my lips all the way to butt end of a spliff because ‘Karen’ told me to.
I just didn’t trust or love myself enough to be better.
It takes us all quite a while meandering along our journey of life to decipher ‘who’ we are, I mean that point of teenager-vampire-ism, the bit when your hormones are rampant, you love and hate everyone and everything in equal measure. A bit like a new born vampire, instead of blood you feed on chips and weed, you shag anything that moves and dry hump everything that doesn’t, you’d fight with your own shadow if it looks at you the wrong way, you think you’re in love after going two’s up on a Marboro light down the very alley you played hide and puke in whilst bunking off school the day before. Everything feels heightened and very messy. The entire time we are just trying to figure it all out, figure out who we are, righting the wrongs over and over, AND seeking approval, love, friendship ALL of the time.
Getting to know yourself, takes years, and trusting yourself takes even longer. You don’t really have a fucking clue who you are, when fitting in is hard enough without having to fathom out WHAT YOUR GOOD AT, WHAT YOUR CRAP AT, WHAT YOUR STRENGTHS AND WEAKNESSES ARE, WHAT YOU WANT TO BE, AND WHO YOU WANT TO SNOG, MARRY AND AVOID.
What’s terrifying is that everyone seems to want to be like someone else! It’s a genuine cause of concern to me. I talk to my kids, probably a little too ‘honestly’ at times, but I want them to know that growing up, is a life long journey. I am a grown up, but I am still ‘growing up’, I am a work in progress. Know that you’re going to make mistakes and make some shitty choices, your going to learn from them and make better choices, the bad choices don’t define you or make you crappy person, you will get a little lost trying to find yourself, but don’t ever stop being yourself, TRUST YOURSELF and trust me to always be there to pick you up, brush you down and reset your internal compass ready for you to continue on your journey. Stop looking elsewhere for the answers to your life. Stop looking for the societal ideology of perfection when you already have it within your own grasp. It’s all about YOUR own perception!
I think growing up today is tough, with social media being a common denominator in painting up, glamming up, and glowing up, our perspectives of what is ‘supposedly’ expected of us.
At one of the most pinnacle times of personal growth the pressure to achieve and fit in a box is phenomenal. You must look like this, behave like this, marry by then, procreate before then, like this, like that, eat this, drink that, be brave, feel the fear and do it anyway. I mean what a load of fucked up advice is that, fight against your natural reaction to preserve and keep yourself safe and do the fucking opposite of that natural gut reaction. Bravery, is also determined by you, how brave you are is up to you and the boundaries that you set yourself, and so is your ability to BE WHO YOU WANT TO BE, warts and all, common, genital or other…
My advice about the box that everyone wants you to fit in – crush the box, recycle it, burn it, do what you want to the fucking box just don’t fit in it. I mean we have to conform and play nicely and all that jizz. (Yeah, I say jizz not jazz, so don’t correct my ‘kelly-ism’).
Start trusting yourself with the life you were entrusted with, carbon copies are for emails, pamphlets and newspapers at print – not for PEOPLE.